Lights. Camera. Travesty.

There's no way I could have liked 'Beats'.

The title itself speaks of the cliched, run-of-the-mill story and characters that are to be expected. And, surprise, surprise, it fell even below my already rock-bottom expectations.

Doing a 'musical' just for the sake of it is no brilliance. Just like writing mundane, unimaginative and sleepy dialogues is a no-brainer. Why try and extract some easy laughs from a group of friends in the name of theatre? I say that because I hardly saw any of the audience, other than a small subset of the huge desi crowd, majority of whom were acquaintances of the cast/crew, enjoying the show. I choose the word 'show' 'cos I would not call what I just watched 'theatre' or even 'drama'.

The very first dance sequence 'Welcome to India' was easy on the eyes and ears. Good dancers those 4-5 people were. And then it sank. My attempts at trying to find a single sequence, twist-in-the-tale, character or even a dialogue (yeah..that's how bad it eventually turned out to be) which could redeem the show for me were futile.

I agree that the story of a small-town girl dreaming of making it big in Bollywood offers little to no scope. Add to it an idealistic, stereotypical screenwriter-ish character and you've just killed the show. However, I did expect the director, as someone who has been an asst. director of a Hall play, a musical at that, a few years back, to render some creative touch and rise above the mediocrity of her own script. Somethings are just not meant to be.

Suresh (the wannabe-screenwriter) and Madhu (our village belle) reach the sets of an over-acting, one-dimensional director Motilal. Enter the seductress. A successful snobbish actress Mona who is adorned with all the cliched qualities a 7-year old would accuse a film-star of having. The actress looked good- which was crucial for her part. And was sincere in her role. The going-ons were further reduced to farcical proportions by a sidey Tipu who believed that to act is to over-act. And he stayed true to his convictions till the very last minute. A stereotypical (I know I am overusing this word) South Indian actress also does rounds on the sets and manages to enliven up the stage now and then. She was effective. Madhu is invited by Moti and then by Raj Aryan (try gettin cornier than that) to their place at nights and the next thing we know is that she's pregnant. Now whether she was raped, did she wilfully went into the arms of the director/actor or was it artificial insemination - the issue is treated as too inconsequential to merit any mention. Unwed mother. Bitchy journalist. Career crashes and she decides to work in a dance bar 'in disguise'. OK. This is the same 'actress' who was, till the last scene, the toast of the nation. How exactly she managed to 'dance in disguise' has to be an optical illusion of the highest order. Twists of fate and she gets a second chance to make it big in Bollywood. Suresh leaves her as he didn't want her to return to the shithole again. She refuses to listen to him. Why? Let's not ask another logical, important question. Her second innings proves disastrous as she is exposed to the double-standards of Bollywoodians. Realisation that she loves Suresh is followed by a running-into-the-arms-of-our-hero sequence. And I don't exactly recall the denouement but you get the picture.

Overall, the script finds itself meandering between trying hard to be comical, farcical, serious, dramatic, farcical yet again, and never getting anywhere. Some of the loopholes would be easy to overlook had the script been a farce right from the word go. But it chose to shortchange the audience and insult their intelligence.

As the story (whatever little there was of it) moves forward, the audience is painfully reminded of the fact that they are watching a musical. Okay. Not everybody is meant to sing. I wonder how difficult it is for a bunch of uni undergrads to acknowledge the simple fact. Or may be by the same aforementioned 7-year old. Then why go on with the pretension of a musical just because you want to sound good in the marketing pamphlets? The lowest point of the musical bit was the continual sprinkling of hindi songs from hindi movies. Now, I love hindi film music. Heck I love some of those songs which played there. But if you tell me that I just paid 20 bucks to see a bunch of teenagers dancing amateurishly trying to get some cheap hoots out of their friends in the audience - that frustrates me. I could sense the awkwardness in the two Chinese ladies sitting next to me and the fidgeting of the few westerners sitting infront of me. This is not the sort of introduction they should be getting of our culture, our 'drama', our film industry, our undergraduates. I was embarrassed. I felt guilty of being one of the proponents of the idea of Kathputli last year. Not that I ever had any great emotional attachment with the event, but I never wanted to see such an excuse for a production coming out of the Society.

The culmination of the story was as big a non-event as the travesties which preceded it. I felt no sympathy for Madhu. How could I when I could see right through the superficiality and inconsistencies of her character? Suresh (the actor who played the part) was the only glimmer of hope in the entire cast. Sincere. To the point. Extremely good dialogue delivery. A bad singer, nonetheless. But whoever said that a brilliant performance is enough to overcome the pitfalls of a terrible script.


I guess I have been a bit harsh here. People tell me not to demotivate the kids who are putting in the effort to put up a show. I tell them that here means do not justify the ends. It is foolhardy and absurd to think that just because I am working hard for something, everyone around me is obliged to like the fruits of my labour. And for someone working this hard, boy he better get his basics right. And that's exactly what the 'Beats' bunch needs to do. This wasn't theatre. Definitely not drama. This is just an attempt to pull out a mediocre show, meant strictly for your friends, just because you have the resources to go about it. This is an attempt at gaining publicity while posing as a dramatist.

I sincerely hope to see better, improved productions from the Society next time around. There's no dearth of talent. Just a little bit of re-focusing to do. They don't have to go far for inspiration. Something by the name of 'Nautanki' has already set a high precedent.

'Three Men and a chair' - save me. Please.